Let me start with blugggghhhhhh blugggg. That about sums up the way I feel just now – need me to expand? Yes? It’s like there’s a tiny man in my neck, and he’s blowing up a balloon in my face. At first its rubbery sides just scratched the sides of my neck, turning the flesh there raw, but then it expanded to my nose and up to my cheeks, constricting my breathing and building pressure behind my eyes, and finally reaching its peek in my head, where it has replaced my brain with a an empty space of air and floaty gases. And that is the true understanding of ‘blugggghhhhhh blugggg’. Just in case I ever use the terminology again.
This reminds me of a game I used to play called Theme Hospital, and there was a syndrome called bloaty-head, and in order to cure it the patient had to go into a room where a doctor popped the head, and then re-inflated it to the correct size. I’m wishing this was actually possible; my only cure is rice-cakes and peanut-butter, and episode after episode of Gilmore Girls. I managed to get through the entirety of winter without so much as a sniffle, and the moment spring decides to grace the planet I get a cold, or a warm depending on how you persevere it. Never really been sure why they coined it a cold; not even sure who ‘they’ are. Is there a committee for these kinds of things?
Worse still is that I’m supposed to be at work tomorrow, where there are noises and people and I have to smile and offer my help to anyone who needs it. How am I even going to get my big-bloaty-head through the doors? I’m going to pack a shoe-horn in my bag. I’m also at the central hub of the house, with noise coming in from every angle. Not purposely of course, its just a fact of the building and usually I don’t mind it, but with my huge expanded ears, and all the space for sound in my newly emptied head it’s loud and uncomfortable.
I do not like being sick.