Today I’ve got to be more political; I’ve got to be more political, and understand more about politics or people will think I don’t care about my country, and that I’m ignorant to what’s really happening and I let politicians take me for a ride. I can’t let anyone know about how unpolitical I am, because if people knew how unpolitical I was they’d try to educate me, or believe I voted for the wrong party because I didn’t understand what I was voting for, and feel pity, and feel anger, and not want to associate with someone as unpolitical as me anymore.
I’m going to become more political by watching the news, and reading the newspapers, and learning which newspapers endorse which political groups, and reading newspapers in public places so that people will engage me in conversation about which political group I should really be buying my newspapers from. I’m going to get more political by learning what social reform really means, and learning to understand what everyone is talking about when they talk about true democracy, and listening really hard when certain politicians try to win my vote, so I hear the subtext, and getting angry about the subtext. I’m going to become more political by learning about social-class, and becoming more defensive of the proletariat, and quietly joining the marxist revolution, and handing-it-to-the-man, and making bold statements about how I feel about bills going through parliament. I’m going to educate myself about all the things a bill has to do to not-be-a-bill anymore, or to become a bill, or to transform from a bill, and then I’m going to get up-to-date on all the current bills, and I’m going to formulate a real opinion on each of them.
I’m going to become more political by being able to recognise a Politian’s name when it’s mentioned on Mock The Week and laugh, snort or thump the table accordingly, and mentioning Politian’s names to my intellectual friends, so they can laugh, snort, or thump the table accordingly, and learning the intentions of all the major politicians, and getting angry when those intentions turn out to be false. I’m going to make a large sign that reads ‘no’, and a large sign that reads ‘yes’ and join protests, and understand what the protest is really about, and believe that by protesting I might change things, as oppose to just changing how people view me, and being a hero in the eyes of many for standing up for what I believe in. I’m going to become more political by getting a deeper understanding of what it is I actually believe in.
I’m going to become more political by actually taking the time to read a ninty-page manifesto before deciding to vote for the party who has written it, and by donating time and money to the party I vote for, and by telling all my friends why they should vote for the party I vote for, and getting really mad at those people who don’t vote for the party I vote for. I’ll also get more political by learning about the history of the party I’m going to vote for, but not letting the fact that I like quotes by Winston Churchill sway my decision, or the things I hear about how bad Margaret Thatcher ran the country not sway my decision, and by deciding based on everything, how I think my country should be run, and who I think should run my country.
Today, I’m going to become more political, but first I should probably decide what I want for breakfast.