Once upon a time there was a spider called Caesar, and he was the biggest, most hairiest spider in his extended spider family. Soon he grew too large for his house, and decided to make his way into the world to build a nice web, and meet a lady-spider and have many little spider-children. He bid his family goodbye and set off on his long journey.
Caesar travelled for a long time, and faced many dangers in search for his new home. In fields he almost got trampled on by cows and sheep, and he was always on the look-out for birds and lizards who might want to eat him as a tatsy treat. Tired, Caesar wondered if he would ever find a nice warm place where no one would hurt him, where he could just be happy. Then one day, Caesar the spider found himself in a big, strange place with lots of noises. His eight-little legs scurried him across the pavements, and there were lots of places that were very smelly where flies liked to hang-out, and so Caesar never went hungry. Of course, he decided that he had found the perfect place to be his new home.
One night, when everything was dark and quiet, Caesar went for a long walk. Soon he found himself in a new part of the city with lots of big structures, and he decided to take a look inside. He squeezed under the door, because even as the biggest spider in his family he was still very small, and he climbed up onto the wall to get a better view of the strange new place. Then Caesar decided to have a rest, and he saw the big pink cushion laying nearby, and he wanted to rest his eight exhausted little leggies on its soft surface.
This sure is comfortable thought Caesar, It’s warm here, and there are no birds to eat me, and there are lots of corners to build big-webs to catch my dinner. I should stay here!
Caesar was very excited, because he had finally found a place safe and warm enough to call his own. To celebrate, Caesar decided to build a big web to catch breakfast since he had seen a clutch of fruit flies nearby. Carefully he used his silk to weave a detailed system of thin lines, to make a beautiful cobweb. Maybe if a lady-spider saw it, she would be very impressed. After completing his web, Caesar was very tired, and he returned to his cushion to sleep. He dreamt about a big family of spider-children all his own.
Suddenly, Caesar heard a big noise which woke him from his slumbers. Beneath him, the cushion started to shake violently, and Caesar got very scared and tried to run away to his web. Some big, with five long fingers whipped across his web, and Caesar was thrown to the ground. Luckily, Caesar landed on something soft, and so none of his spindly little legs was broken. Looking up at the big animal, Caesar remembered what his spider-parents had taught him.
“The big pink-animals don’t like us,” said his father, “your uncle was killed when one of them used a slipper to squash him.”
“They like to wash you down the big hole,” warned his Mother, “just like your poor cousin.”
Now Caesar was very afraid, and he ran as fast as his legs could take him, but the pink-animal was too quick, and she covered him with a big invisible wall to stop him from escaping. Caesar was not used to feeling so small, and he cried as he tried to squeeze under the wall.
“You scared me little spider,” said the girl. “What were you doing on my ear?” she asked, laughing.
“I thought you were a cushion,” replied Caesar, but the girl could not hear his tiny voice.
Something white and flat was slipped under Caesar’s legs, and he felt himself being lifted. Through the see-through wall he saw images of obscured colour and light, and he though perhaps he had been squashed and was in Spider-heaven. Then he smelt fresh air, and he saw lots of green plants and flowers, just like he remembered from his home, where he used to play with his spider-brothers and spider-sisters. All 104 of them.
“Here you go little spider,” said the girl, “your new home.”
The invisible wall went away, and Caesar quickly scurried off the white surface and into a nearby bush. Happy to be alive he jumped for job, but then he remembered his perfect web, now nothing but decaying strands, and he knew he would never be able to make such a beautiful web again. He started to cry.
“I never should have left home,” he cried. “I’m never going to have any spider-friends again.”
“I’ll be your spider-friend,” replied a voice.
Surprised Caesar turned and saw the most beautiful lady-spider he had ever seen. She was big and brown, and had the most amazing eight black eyes ever to have been seen on a spider.
“You are very pretty,” he said shyly. “What is your name?”
“My name is Penny,” replied the lady-spider. “This is my home.”
“It’s very nice,” responded Caesar, “May I live here as well?”
“Of course,” replied Penny. “Let’s build a big web and catch some dinner.”
Not long after Caesar and Penny decided to get married and they had a big ceremony with all their spider-friends, and a big fly cake, and they had lots of beautiful spider-children of their own. As he tucked them up at night, Caesar would tell all his spider-sons and spider-daughters about his big scary adventure, but how it had led him to his happy new home.
And they all lived happily ever after.
(This is based on an experience I had yesterday, when I woke to find a big spider nestles on my ear. I took him outside, and he scurried off. Now he lives in the garden, happy as a clam.)