The phrase ‘You can’t have your cake and eat it too,’ is, it seems to me, incorrect. When one has a cake, one can indeed ‘eat it too’ if that is what one desires. Having a cake in front of you means that the choice to consume it remains open. However, if one decides to eat a cake, then one can no longer possess the cake – convoluted terms about possession put aside for now. Physically when a cake is eaten it is no longer a cake, instead it is a broken-down assortment of chemicals filed into energy and excess materials. Therefore, you can’t have it any longer.
To summarise, you can ‘have your cake and eat it too’ because having precedes the act of eating, however, you cannot eat your cake and have it too, because when the former is done the later is impossible.
In any case having a cake is devoid of point if it is not possessed for the purpose of devouring. If cake is not eaten is goes stale and becomes useless in its cause. So ‘have your cake and eat it too.’ And share it – ‘Have your cake and let your friends eat it too’. Life’s too short for wasted cake.